yesteryears

i kind of like this blog’s ability to let me escape into the realm of yesteryear and compare stuff like what the hell i was doing a year ago today. around this time last year i was planning a party. it was fun. i was skipping work. this time around i’m trying to tie up a million loose ends here before i fly out in three weeks! (also, i love that i can indulge in such gratuitous anticipation of events.) i’m leaving here at the time when the country pretty much shuts down for 3-4 weeks for the norooze (norooz = start of spring = persian/iranian new year). official offices are closed and everyone is on vacation so it’s not like i would be able to get any work done if i were here but that puts more pressure on getting stuff in order before the lock down. i have no idea how all the files that have to be completed in the next three weeks will actually get done.

being here for the past couple of months has enabled me to peer into the lives of a people that are very complex. i’ve generally avoided talking about it here because i feel like presenting a society must be done thoroughly so snippets of bitching or glorifying would just make me sound one sided and give everyone the impression that i’m a total amateur (which i am, but that’s another story). without passing judgment here i can still vouch for the fact that traveling really does a lot to broaden one’s horizons and increases understanding of the “other”... while i find it hard to understand the rut this society is stuck in at least i have seen the kind of lives they live, the challenges they face, the occasions they celebrate, and have come to understand what makes them tick (i don’t think i fully understand this, but i’ve come to recognize the major categories people fall in). also, being here at this tense time had made me realize and appreciate the peace of mind that i’ve enjoyed for most of my life. no threat of war, sanctions, cholera (that was just absurd), earth quakes, traffic accidents.

all that said, it’s kind of a shame that i won’t be here on the night of norooz. i reckon it would have been an interesting time to watch the people shopping, and setting up their houses for all the guests that will start pouring in. people here are overly generous in certain situations, especially when it comes to social guests... i’m consoled by the fact that my parents are amazing hosts.

football to the n-th degree

reading this was weird because it made total sense... i could see george or johny, some of the ardent united fans in my class reading it and agreeing wholeheartedly.

for a couple of years i studied in a high school with a uniform. for grades 7-9 the sweaters were red, bright red. there was always the unconfirmed suspicion that it was because the head (read principal in north america) was a crazy united fan. this may have made it all the more difficult for the man city fans at our school, but it really didn’t matter... i reckon the reds outnumbered the sorry blues anyway. and during the years i was there, united was on a continuous winning streak. premiership title after premiership title. and the fa cup. and the european championship. the days when cantona captained the team, gigs was a young lad, and beckham was not yet a sensation (media or otherwise).

so during those heady days the team seemed kind of magical.

but then, something happened. cantona retired. they won too many games. they got too rich. and the team for a while became a collection of the biggest price tags. furgeson refused to retire. eventually beckham left, and the ol’ boys of man united have literally become old boys. in short, i slowly lost interest.

i'm sure the upcoming world cup will work wonders in making me interested once again. all the schools here will finish before the world cup starts (10 days before the usual end of the school year)... football obviously takes precedent over education.

blue

the sky today was mesmerizing. the color was just soooo blue. driving south of the city, the view was split between a perfect sky, snow covered mountains and the buildings built up their slopes on the northern parts of the city. picturesque indeed.

with half of the population (people and cars), and 5 times more planning, i think this city could be a beautiful place to live. there’s history, culture, beauty... the problem is the density and the haphazard way in which it continues to grow.

anyway, i’ll be back home 4 weeks from today which is quite exciting. i’ve been away for close to nine months now. so much to do, so many people to see, dinners to have and coffees to drink that i’m not sure i’ll be able to fit it all into my trip. i’m very much looking forward to it...

coffee

oh, the irony. they were everywhere we went in china... the overpowering forces of consumerism rock on.

i don't understand...

seriously?

flashes

i just had a flash back to a tense session two years ago.

my plans post-grad weren’t clear so i decided to interview for don* positions in case i was going to stay in toronto. i didn’t actually think i had a chance but i thought it was a process that i could learn from so i sent in my applications and waited for the interviews.

one of the colleges, with a spanking new building on bloor, decided that the first round of interviews would be conducted in a group. imagine a room full of over-eager-over-achievers trying to impress by talking louder and louder during a group task. i remember feeling like crap as i caught a glimpse of the egoistic dons that my fellow taskers would likely become. so after the “group task” was over and everyone made their cute comments about things, my comments about their insensitivities and lack of understanding about group dynamics plunged the room into silence. it was soooo tense for a few minutes i felt like one of the girls would strangle me right there. the air was electrifying as they began to realize that they had likely blown their chances (for free room and board, and a nice line on the resume for post-grad applications)... and soon their apologies followed but as any granny would tell you, there’s no point crying over spilt milk.

needless to say i ended up with more offers than i could take up at the end of the recruiting session. and since i skipped town i never actually took up any of them. but it was a great way to end 4 years at u.of.t, knowing that i’d really grown up some.


* don = residential advisor in our terminology, with the responsibility of looking after the kiddies in your university residence.

rhythm

that’s what my friend called it.
he said, we, as a people, have rhythm.
and if nothing else, over the last couple of nights it has been proved to me once again.
if there were some crazy world competition, we’d rank right up there with the caribbeans in terms of collective rhythm!

more on this after tonight’s showdown in the ‘hood. they’re coming to our house...

what is happening?

my chat with the cab driver last night was more interesting than usual.

what is actually happening to us? where are we headed? what will become of us?

the current news just doesn't sound good but for the millions that will actually suffer there isn't a thing we can do.

the tense moments spent considering the options and possibilities are the most stressed out i've ever felt. i remember back at uni or even law school ppl would stress out over an exam or something... but that stress is not even comparable to this.

despite all their faults, human beings deserve better than this... but as dr recently reminded me: "you never get what you deserve. you get what you bargained for". so, basically i'm left praying for a miracle cos the negotiators are fighting a losing battle.

taking the good with the bad

mostly, cos i don’t have a choice.
and i’m sure it’s some kind of equilibrium seeking force in the universe... one of those rules of thermodynamics that applies to everyday life: there is only so much goodness to go around.

so the good news is progress in my work, confirmation that i am indeed an excellent english language user (a very long story), an amazing album [naghsh khial: homayoon shajarian], and a general feeling of peace.
unfortunately, these have been balanced by some ‘minor’ things that a kink in my day: people who screw up and expect me to work miracles, liars, people who think i don’t know shit and try to threaten me, and generally having the carpet pulled out from under my feet.

it's hard to remain at peace when each day brings unexpected twists and turns. i guess that's what they call 'life'.

it’s been an exhausting week and it’s not even over yet.
back to the drawing board i guess.